i'm a brave, foolish soul

We are "enjoying" a wondrous winter storm here this weekend. Last evening, it started hailing. It let up a little, but by the time I got up at 1:00 am, it was raining, thundering, and lightening--a nice, freezing rain. I haven't been able to see through my windows for hours, but I finally finished my third attempt at a first draft of this short portfolio paper (which I am dreading feedback on and will probably get within the hour--he hasn't liked anything else I've done so far, so why should he like this?) and was having a craving. It is a craving I've had since last night and it wasn't curbed by Dana's wonderful chili dinner with cinnamon rolls for dessert. What did I want desperately enough to go out in the inch of slushy not-quite-ice, not-yet-snow on the ground? Better Maid Barbecue Chips.

Of course, I can't get Better Maid Barbecue Chips out here in the middle of nowhere. I knew that, but I was sure I could find a knock-off at the local gas station, just half a mile down the street. I was positive I had seen some there before. Of course, they didn't have any. But I was already out, so I decided to drive another mile to the grocery store. I walked down the aisle two or three times salivating at the thought of eating those chips and in growing fear that I wouldn't be able to find any. I had almost decided to by puffy Cheetos instead (a sad consolation prize) when I finally spotted what I wanted: a bag of plain store-brand barbecue chips, not cruncy, not wavy, not mesquite--just that thin, airy goodness like those Better Maids. I bought those and the Cheetos (hey, I'm still counting calories--I'll just be counting more the next couple of days) and some Van de Kamp's beer battered fish, which is heating up in the oven right now. By the time I got out of the store, big, white fluffy flakes were coming down hard and one hit me square in the eye (behind my glasses, no less). And by the time I got home my jaw was locking up from chowing down on the chips. They're not a bad substitute for Better Maid.

So I know I have SO MUCH to write (on this blog and for my portfolio), but I have very little energy left to write with. Blogging is a break for me, but I'll also take a rest-my-mind break with something from Netflix or an episode of Buffy or La Femme Nikita (I own every episode of Buffy and the first season of La Femme Nikita) and then sleep for an hour or two (probably until Al calls from work) before I get back to work. My goal for this evening is to finish revisions on my long paper. Then, tomorrow, I will tackle revisions on the short paper (I'll have feedback by then), write the rhetorical analyses, and do my final edits. I'm going to allow myself to work out tomorrow, though, since Dana and I didn't get to this morning (weather and work). By tomorrow evening--possibly even this time tomorrow evening--I'll be done with my portfolio exam! FINALLY! I can't wait to turn that thing Monday morning. After this weekend, I don't ever want to see it again. (I know I will, though.)

Finally, I wanted to post something Nikki sent me through email. It's something I always need and can never get through my head. Maybe some day I'll quit being dense enough to actually let it make a difference in my life. I apologize for the long blog, but this is important. I'll pretty it up with a few pictures from last winter (no digital camera, so can't post pics of today) to make up for the length.

You say, "It's impossible"; God says, "All things are possible." Luke 18:27

You say, "I'm too tired"; God says, "I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28-30

You say, "Nobody really loves me"; God says, "I love you." John 3:16 & John 3:34

You say, "I can't go on"; God says, "My grace is sufficient." II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15

You say, "I can't figure things out"; God says, "I will direct your steps." Proverbs 3:5-6

You say, "I can't do it"; God says, "You can do all things." Philippians 4:13

You say, "I'm not able"; God says, "I am able." II Corinthians 9:8

You say, "It's not worth it"; God says, "It will be worth it." Roman 8:28

You say, "I can't forgive myself"; God says, "I Forgive you." I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1

You say, "I can't manage"; God says, "I will supply all your needs." Philippians 4:19

You say, "I'm afraid"; God says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear." II Timothy 1:7

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated"; God says, "Cast all your cares on ME." I Peter 3:7

You say, "I'm not smart enough"; God says, "I give you wisdom." I Corinthians 1:30

You say, "I feel all alone"; God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Sounds a lot like me, doesn't it? My God has all of the answers; I just need to start trusting him. Until tomorrow--

rhondalorraine