respite

I don't have an update on my mother this week, and for one simple reason: I haven't really seen her enough to be able to give a detailed update. Dad took the week off of work to spend some time with mom and to get some things done around the house, which meant that I got the week off of hospice duty to spend some time at home. It started last Saturday, ends this Saturday, and has passed way too quickly. It has been wonderful and bittersweet at the same time, because I feel like a visitor in my own home. I never really got the chance to settle into married life with my husband and am eager for the home again/gone again patterns to end; if I'm honest, I have to admit that I don't want to go back to mom and dad's. I just want to live at home, be able to finish my degree and find a job (my officemate and the other faculty here are interviewing for my "dream" job, and I couldn't even apply because of all that is going on), and have a normal life, however that can be defined. But I will go back to mom and dad's and I will take care of mom because I love them/her and no one else can do it--timewise, moneywise, etc. I'll be there as long as it takes or until I have the baby, whichever comes first. Perhaps after that I'll be able to start a "normal" life.

Ah, but my respite: I was able to go to the Halloween party Saturday night, but by the time it came around I was so stressed out that I was crying and dreading going only half an hour before we left. But once we arrived, I enjoyed myself immensely; just being around my friends again and being able to talk about the baby and relax had me feeling, well, relaxed. And sleepy by the time we left. I'll have to post a pic of our costumes later. Al and I were Raggedy Andy and Raggedy Ann, and while he was dreading the prospect, I suspect he ended up enjoying it. Rather than being made fun of, as he thought, people thought his wig was cool (and I made it, and it kept him warm as a plus). Sunday we went to church and breakfast, and then while I made a shopping list and went grocery shopping, Al slept the afternoon away in front of the football games (he thinks he watches, but doesn't see very much). Monday we went to the doctor and Al got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time; the doc said all looks normal and my blood tests for Down Syndrome and the like all came back negative. We visited mom Monday night and mom and dad both fell asleep on us. I worked Tuesday and graded papers yesterday while Al worked on his car. Yesterday afternoon we took the puppy to the park and she loved it. And today, well, I'm back at work. Tomorrow Mya has her last shots and I need to do some shopping and work on my reading list (back to trying to get something done, at least, so I can take my exams in February), and Saturday is Ella's birthday party--and I'm back at mom and dad's. Sigh. It's going by way too fast, like I said.

Two big run-on paragraphs later and I need to head on down to class. It will be simple today since they have a workshop, but I'm eager for the next hour and a half to be over since I just want to go home and make it feel like my home rather than my husband's house that I'm moving into. And sleep. I was up grading at 2:00 am and didn't sleep well the night before. That's the life of a college instructor!