when?

I don't know how to title this, don't want to write this, don't even know what to write. But I know the five of you that read my blog regularly (funny how many people say they read it vs. actually read it) will want an update on mom, so here goes.

I think it will be soon. I'm hoping not today, since it's Ella's birthday, but I know dad's thinking soon too since he stayed home from work again today. I've been back at mom and dad's again since Saturday and she's been sleeping more than she was previously. She's been weaker, too. But yesterday she slept all day, except when the nurse's aid, the nurse, and Aunt Judy were there. She just happened to be awake at those times, or I don't think I would have been able to wake her up to interact with them. It took me five minutes to wake her up to give her the pain meds at 1:00, and then I couldn't wake her up for her other meds at 6:00. I called dad then and asked him if I could keep trying; we decided to let her sleep. She did wake up when he came home an hour later; he thinks putting his cold hands on her helped.

Between the sleeping thing and her weakness (even in her voice), I'm thinking it will be soon. But we thought that before and were wrong, so who knows. But dad's home looking for pictures of mom, I'm sure in preparation for her funeral. The picture from Olan Mills hasn't arrived yet despite their promises of a rush, although the frame came two weeks ago. He had mentioned that he was thinking about taking the second half of this week off since mom liked having him home last week, but now I don't know what he'll do. I know I'm wandering here, but I think mom thinks it will be soon, too, which could have a big impact on when it happens (I think the mental has a lot to do with it, especially after watching my grandfather hang on for hours and hours and, once he was told his oldest son tried but wouldn't be able to make it--so he could go--going within minutes). This morning she told me she's "fine, which isn't good," told me to have a nice day, and instead of saying "see you later," she told me, "Bye, babe," as I was leaving for work. I've got my phone on vibrate today and am wondering if I should expect a call or if I'm thinking this will go faster than it will. Waiting and wondering is having its toll on me, and I know on others in the family. I can't imagine what it's doing to mom.

Anyway, there's happy news on the horizon, too: a baby shower for my soon-to-be nephew next weekend (gotta RSVP; keep forgetting) and I'm feeling so much movement of my own baby that it's making me feel a little ill. It's still to weak for Al to feel yet, but the doctor said that won't happen for another three to four weeks since the baby's still too small to be that strong yet (I'm twenty-three weeks tomorrow). And as I said in my previous post, we found out last week that we're going to have another niece somewhere near the end of April. Dad will go from one to four grandchildren pretty quickly--our family is expanding rapidly!

Sounds like my students are wrapping up their work (peer review day), so I better get going, too. Happy Tuesday to everyone. If anything happens, I'll post it with the details. Thanks for keeping in touch.