meet myarrow

It's funny how the little things usually provide us the most joy in life. The little one that's causing me joy now is Myarrow--a 6.13 pound, six week old rottweiler that chose me as her new mommy Friday evening. I couldn't believe how tiny she was when I met her, and it's hard to believe that this calm little girl that I carry around in my arms (and my cat's carrier) will be 60+ pounds in a few months. But that's okay; I think dogs should be bigger than my cat. Right now Mya's about a third of Serena's size.

Al and I brought her "home" to Grandma and Papa's house Friday evening, and by Saturday Myarrow was romping in the yard chasing Beth's dog, Presley, and ignoring Ella, who was doing her best to run around chasing the dogs (Ella's walking already--not even eleven months!). Yesterday, she played with me outside for forty-five minutes and started moping when I brought her in. She loves to be outside. She slept most of the afternoon, and yesterday evening Al and I brought her to her real home to meet Serena. Of course, Sena hissed at her and kept watching her from afar (suspicious as she is of all other animals), but when Mya just kept sleeping, Sena even dared to go up close enough to sniff her butt. Mya jumped, scooted six inches away, and went back to sleep. Sena seemed to decide she could handle this, and although I don't expect them to be friends, I'm sure they'll be civil. Serena will be in charge, of course.

The one thing: Myarrow's not eating very well (only a few bites yesterday, and none so far today). I'll be trying to coax her into eating by hand-feeding her in a few minutes. (Not unusual for a dog whose entire environment changed so recently, but new mommy worries prevail). Mya's a very calm dog for the most part; I've only heard her bark once, and she cries a little when she can't follow me around, but she's already sleeping without complaint (or accidents, since Friday night) in her crate. I'm already in love. It might take Al another twenty-four hours, but he'll get his chance: he's taking her from me and Grandma and Papa's tonight and keeping her overnight and while I work tomorrow. I'm hoping she perks up so she can explore a little more around the house, try her hand at sniffing Serena's butt, and play with Al in the yard.

And now the mom update. She's down to only eating breakfast (applesauce or cereal) and, on lucky days, a small snack in the afternoon (jello or applesauce). She usually doesn't keep it down. She has a gagging reflex when we even mention taking pills, and half the time it ends up in bile. (No wonder; she takes 16 pills a day.) She's still alert during the day and has several visitors, but she can't move her hips on her own (she thinks it's due in part to her degenerating spine) and needs assistance even to shift herself in the bed. She slept longer last night than usual. She worries because I don't really get much work done here in between taking care of her, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, and (some nights) cooking dinner for me, Al, and dad. She's trying to keep her spirits up, and I don't know how she can have such a good attitude. I'd be feeling so sorry for myself, but she just takes it one day at a time.

As for me? I miss being in my own house with my husband and my cat. I wonder when I'll ever be able to spend the night at home again. I'm wonder if/when I'll have time to finish the paint job I started in our family room/kitchen/dining room or if I'll be able to decorate the baby's room (or even register for baby stuff). I wonder if I will be able to go to my niece's first birthday party or my sister-in-law's baby shower. I wonder if I'll be able to decorate my house for Christmas this year (or enjoy the decorations if I can). I'm slowly growing desperate for some time with friends (I won't even be able to make the annual Halloween party that I've missed for three years because I was in Iowa--bitter disappointment). I don't know when I'll be able to take my exams or finish my dissertation or go on the job market or graduate. But I try to remind myself of the reason I'm doing this--for my mom and my dad--and try to remember what will have happened if/when I could/can do all of that stuff: the most likely scenario is that mom wouldn't/won't be here anymore. And I can't wish for that, either.

Thanks again for the support and love, everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch; life's been a little crazy. Please, feel free to call; the worst that can happen is that it might go to voice mail and I won't have a chance to call you back. If you email me telling me to call, don't count on a call--sorry, but I tend not to think of those things until 11:00 or 12:00 at night. Love you, miss you, keep us in your prayers. Thanks.