discourage(ment)

I just went to the only session I was truly interested in here at ABC. A topic very similar to my own interests, very dear to my heart. I enjoyed the presentation and spoke to the presenter afterward. I complimented her, talked a little about the subject, then mentioned what I'm doing (admittedly, hoping she'd come to my presentation tomorrow). There was that slight hesitation and that look on her face that told me, immediately, that she was dismissing my ideas out of hand, that she placed no value in them and was thinking, that won't work. She didn't say that, but I could tell she was thinking it. Then she said, "Yeah, I use [enter technology I'm using here] too." The conversation ended shortly thereafter.

I just have one question. I gave your ideas consideration, although I don't think they're new, innovative, or altogether brilliant. I enjoyed your presentation and your ideas nonetheless. Why can't people do the same? I know that look and that hesitation (and dismissal, in the final comments) wasn't meant to be interpreted by me, but I caught them nonetheless. It was almost as bad as having them rejected outright by someone at another conference once who didn't value the type of research I like to do and so wouldn't listen to anything about it (although she was supposed to be leading a research symposium, listening to our studies and giving us suggestions for publication venues and such). This entire trip I've felt more and more like no matter where I go, who I'm with, or what I do, I'm the least important person in the room. When I talk, others allow interruptions without apology or return to my comments--if they even acknowledge that I'm spoken. I just feel like screaming, "I'M HERE, PEOPLE. I EXIST TOO. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE IT!" I might as well just be talking to walls. I want to go home. I miss my cat. At least she listens to me (sometimes).

Thanks for listening (reading). I needed to let it out somehow, and this is better than screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of a professional conference, even if I don't have any intention of ever coming back.