rhonda can't write

Rhonda's prospectus draft for her dissertation is "due" in less than 48 hours.
Rhonda can't write (writer's block).
What is Rhonda to do?

the goodness of gouda

Gouda is good.

I had forgotten how good gouda could be. A couple of weeks ago, I splurged and bought myself some gouda cheese. I put it in the cheese drawer (aka "the fruit and veggies drawer in the fridge that I don't use for fruit"--but I do have one for veggies) and promptly forgot about it. I rediscovered it last week, and around the same time I rediscovered that gouda is good. Very good.

How good is gouda?

My cat comes running when I open the package good.
My cat doesn't throw up after eating large amounts of it good (cats are lactose intolerant, you know).
I'm eating it for dinner with reduced fat Ritz crackers good.
Man could almost live on gouda and bread alone, good. (Well, when you're talking about physical hunger and needs, anyway.)

Gouda is good. Pick some up. You'll like it.

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The preceeding post was brought to you by the "Rhonda needs to stop whining and complaining" committee, who recently nominated my blog to be renamed "the whine-o." The committee discouraged Rhonda from telling you about her long-awaited weekend with her husband, which involved a still salient sickness (a bad, throat-hurting, head-stuffing-and- throbbing, snot-swallowing-and-puking cold and an emergency run to the local grocery store by her husband in search of Nyquill), approximately 40 hours of work, including a 30-hour stint (with breaks only for meals and teaching: no sleep), and, blissfully, a trip to an adorable cider mill for donuts and a cider slushie. Instead, they encouraged Rhonda to write about something positive and interesting for once. Positive, it is. Interesting? That's up to you to decide.

i want my mommy

I'm sick. And I want my mommy.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a pretty big baby when I'm healthy, but it's worse when I'm sick. When I lived close enough, I would call mom whenever I got sick and ask her to bring me soup or take care of me in some other random way. Now I'm 600 miles away and can't exactly ask her to come take care of me, but my husband is coming to town tomorrow. I guess I'll give him a chance and see if he does a good job. Since he can't cook, I doubt he'll be a great substitute for mom, but at least he'll try!

restless

restless
my mind is racing
it can't sit still
though my body belies this fact with its calm appearance

i want to pace
i want to move
my mind jumps
thought to thought, image to image
no coherence

"don't make me think!"

organization is superimposed
unnatural
like strapping me down
when all i want to do is run

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I'm pretty restless today, especially since my "partner" for a presentation I'm supposed to give next week and a reading guide and discussion we're supposed to distribute tomorrow missed our meeting last week and hasn't responded to my emails since. Meaning? I'm having to do all of the work to make sure I get a good grade (or just a grade, even). Not good form when you're at the Master's level in your education, as she is. Ugh. And I've been having trouble concentrating these last couple of days, which doesn't help. But Al's coming to see me on Friday, so I'll get through it. I have to!

Happy Monday.

a redeeming day

First, I have to apologize for complaining and moping so much online recently. The first two days in DC were hard, and the lack of sleep didn't help. And although others frequently slighted me, I'm sure that most of it wasn't intentional. I'm just too sensitive.

Friday was the day that redeemed the DC trip for me, though. Not that I can say it was a great trip, but it was a good day. I couldn't sleep so got up at 5:00 am, showered, and did some work on the computer. By 7:15, I was taking my husband's advice and walking out the front door of the hotel to wander around DC on my own. We stayed at the Hyatt Regency near Union Station, and I took advantage of the nearness of all of the major attractions. I walked toward the capital and past it, around the American Indian Museum, down the National Mall where they had some solar home competition going on, past the Washington Monument, through the park beyond it, and past the Vietnam Memorial. I couldn't help crying as I saw (again) all of the names on that wall of people that gave their lives for our country in a war that people didn't even support. I was glad my dad's name wasn't on there, and that the bullet he got just went through his arm and not his heart. (If his name was on there, I wouldn't be here at all, come to think of it.) I walked into the city, down to George Washington University, and then took the metro back to the hotel. I went to a morning session and then, a few minutes later, it was our turn for the presentation (I was presenting with Karen, another PhD student from my department). Twelve people came, and none from our school--a very good turnout for a grad student on the last day and second-to-last session of the conference. Then I headed home, listening to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince all the way. My day in a nutshell, and not too exciting, but redeeming. Since I made you suffer through my misery, thought I'd let you know it all turned out okay.

Goodnight, and make tomorrow a happy Sunday.

discourage(ment)

I just went to the only session I was truly interested in here at ABC. A topic very similar to my own interests, very dear to my heart. I enjoyed the presentation and spoke to the presenter afterward. I complimented her, talked a little about the subject, then mentioned what I'm doing (admittedly, hoping she'd come to my presentation tomorrow). There was that slight hesitation and that look on her face that told me, immediately, that she was dismissing my ideas out of hand, that she placed no value in them and was thinking, that won't work. She didn't say that, but I could tell she was thinking it. Then she said, "Yeah, I use [enter technology I'm using here] too." The conversation ended shortly thereafter.

I just have one question. I gave your ideas consideration, although I don't think they're new, innovative, or altogether brilliant. I enjoyed your presentation and your ideas nonetheless. Why can't people do the same? I know that look and that hesitation (and dismissal, in the final comments) wasn't meant to be interpreted by me, but I caught them nonetheless. It was almost as bad as having them rejected outright by someone at another conference once who didn't value the type of research I like to do and so wouldn't listen to anything about it (although she was supposed to be leading a research symposium, listening to our studies and giving us suggestions for publication venues and such). This entire trip I've felt more and more like no matter where I go, who I'm with, or what I do, I'm the least important person in the room. When I talk, others allow interruptions without apology or return to my comments--if they even acknowledge that I'm spoken. I just feel like screaming, "I'M HERE, PEOPLE. I EXIST TOO. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE IT!" I might as well just be talking to walls. I want to go home. I miss my cat. At least she listens to me (sometimes).

Thanks for listening (reading). I needed to let it out somehow, and this is better than screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of a professional conference, even if I don't have any intention of ever coming back.

alien(ated)

I'm in Washington DC at the Association of Business Communication conference. It's the first day of the conference and I have never felt more out of place. Some people don't differentiate between technical communication and business communication, but to me the difference is vast. Which results in me not being much interested in most of the sessions. So what am I doing at 11:00 am Eastern time instead of attending a session? I'm writing a blog and about to do some work on my dissertation prosepectus, which I'm so far behind on that I'm almost sick to my stomach (of course, that could also be the pumpkin spice latte I had this morning, since my body's not used to such a large infusion of sugar at once--I'm more of a salt girl, myself).

I did have an interesting trip here, though. As predicted, my layover through O'Hare was extended (but this time due to weather, to be fair). I stopped into the bar near my gate to have a beer and ended up talking to a cop from Liverpool for an hour and a half. He was in town for the Chicago marathon (which got cancelled due to heat--he said he went nine miles, and the only reason he went that far was because he saw people running out from side streets and stealing the shoes off of people's feet when they collapsed from exhaustion on the ground). We had an interesting talk--Jon (or Jonny, as his email address says) was nice, tall (6'8"), and ended up offering Al & I a place to stay if we ever make it to Liverpool. We exchanged email addresses and plan to keep in touch.

Like I said, I plan on working the majority of the day today, and I think I'll go ahead and do a little sight-seeing tomorrow. I wanted to bring my camera, but I had forgotten I left my cameras in Michigan when I left for school. I may buy one of those disposables, though. Just depends since I don't have anyone to take pictures of or to take my picture. (I am here with some people from school, but after making at least ten remarks in the last 13 hours--as long as I've been here--that people seem to pretend I have not even made, I'm starting to feel like I don't exist and nothing I say matters to them anyway. It could be that they're just too caught up in their own stuff, and I know I can be like that, too, or it could be that they didn't hear me, but I don't think it's likely that every single time I spoke they didn't hear me. So I plan on being alone. It may be more fulfilling.)

Okay, gotta get to work. Oh, yeah. Saw a huge rat on the sidewalk on my short three-block walk from the train station to the hotel. I hoped it was a squirrel, it was so big, but nope--just a rat.

honeymoon, day four

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath...well, here's the entry you've been waiting for! And I've got a co-author today--my hubby! I gave him a writing assignment earlier this week (wouldn't it be great to have a writing teacher as a wife?), and I've interspersed what he wrote with my own memories. This is for us as much as it is for you, so enjoy, as we will in years to come!

Day four saw us taking a train to Limerick in the morning. When the cabbie dropped us off at Dublin Heuston Railway Station, he cautioned us with a grave look of concern on your face, "Be careful in Limerick. Hold on to your purse and wallet, and be careful where you go. It's full of crime out there." And Al immediately started to worry. He made sure his under-the-shirt fanny pack for money (yes, I'm telling on you for wearing it) was securely tied around his waist and out of site. I was expecting Detroit or worse, but I ended up loving Limerick. It had a cute pedestrian shopping area with brick streets (although not the best in the way of shops), a gorgeous church, and (of course) numerous pubs and bars. Al's memories as we got off the train and walked the block and a half to the hotel:

that old old place across from the hotel that was for sale,,, look like an old bank.
did we eat at the nasty fast food place the first day, then walked down the nice street with the people question us or welcomed us then we walked down by the river,, cool, then over to the castle,, stopped at the church,, which was cool, then got really creepy with the way the cemetery got dark, silent, rainy, and know one was around. we saw a couple of bums at the castle,,they were a little shady,, the housing on that side of the river was a little more run down, but not bad.

I don't remember the place across from the hotel, unless it was the place on the left as we walked through the square. We stayed at Pery's Best Western in the Georgian part of town, the cheapest place we stayed the entire trip...well, besides the cottage that was free! (We'll get to that eventually.) The "nasty fast food place" was some burger joint that was trying to be its own version of McDonald's, but half of their items weren't on the menu and what was on the menu was--well, Al's right. Disgusting. But we were hungry. When we "walked down the nice street" we were in the pedestrian shopping district and I made Al turn around and go back to the hotel with me so I could get my camera. I had forgotten it, and loved the scenery. The people who "questioned us" were from some group--a charity? I can't really remember now. I just know it wasn't religious. We actually saw two churches that day. One was in town, at the far end of the shopping district and at the end of one of the streets. I've put a picture of that here because it was kindof cool how you can turn the corner and run into a building that's several hundred years old and has a gothic feel to it. I also remember that there were all these little bakeries around that made me wish I hadn't eaten--the smells coming from them were heavenly, mixtures of sweet smells and smells of warm bread. I went into one wanting a hot chocolate, because it was a little chilly and wet that day, but they didn't have any and I didn't feel like drinking coffee.

The river was the River Shannon. I've read before that newlyweds should take a dip in the River Shannon to bring good luck to their marriage, but we settled for taking pictures of ourselves on the shore and on a bridge over the river. One of my favorite pictures from the honeymoon was there, and I've posted it here. The castle was King George's castle, and really wasn't that impressive in the way of castles. I can't remember if it was the castle that looked like it was a failed tourist center or a building close by, but whatever it was was closed up and looked deserted. The castle was the only thing that reminds me of Detroit, now that I think back on it. The "bums" on the steps drinking and smoking, the broken bottles, and the graffiti on the walls remind me of home sweet home (sorry, but I do love Detroit). I remember walking back towards the river and having the walls of the homes literally at the edges of the slanting sidewalks (the street I'm thinking of was on a hill). Most of the windows had some type of white lace curtains, thin enough to let the light in but thick enough to keep prying eyes out.

That "creepy" cemetery in the second church was one of my favorite spots in Limerick. It seemed to be right out of a Buffy episode (and here we have the degradation of Irish culture with a reference to modern-day pop culture. Sorry, but I love Buffy!). We thought we were on a path that would lead us out of the churchyard another way, but nope!

then we stopped for a few pints at the place by the river then ate upstairs, I liked the other couple that met at the bar, the guy was on a motorcycle and he picked up groceries and brought them in with him, and he was soaking wet. food was good up stairs.
then we stopped at that other bar, that was suppose to be 80’s music.. that place kinda stunk.. but it was all right.
where did we go after that?

The groceries were a big bag of fresh produce. Such an odd thing to see someone carry into a pub. They sat next to him for an hour while he drank his...Michelob? It was a light beer, and I think that pub did have Michelob or something light like that. Al might have liked the food upstairs, but I didn't. I ordered fish and chips, thinking I'd get a wonderfully greasy dish of fried fish. It was potato crusted and dry instead, and the fact that it was probably fresh didn't make up for the disappointment of the way it didn't meet my expectations. I couldn't eat it. I don't even think the fries were good.

The "other bar" was definitely not what we expected. We saw a sign on the door saying that they had retro punk on Thursdays, and since it was Thursday, we went in. It was modern (definitely not what you'd call an Irish pub) and the young'un behind the counter had no idea what a Black and Tan was. They didn't have Smithwick's (you can't really find Harps in most pubs or bars in Ireland, so they make B&Ts with Smithwick's when they know what B&Ts are). And the music? Definitely not what we were expecting. I think the "dj" (bartender?) was playing whatever he felt like playing. There were a few people there, but I don't remember much about them. I remember more about the decor--chairs and booths on platforms and, if I remember correctly, covered in cow hides or something like that, mixed with high ceilings and modern lighting and accessories at the bar.

After that, we went off to try to find a pub that was supposed to have good music according to our tour maps. We never found it and ended up in a pub with a few locals in the other room, and everyone but the bartender ignoring us. By that time, I was tired of drinking, so I sat there while Al watched some sports game on the television and had a pint. Then we headed back to the room where I tried to get Al to watch La Femme Nikita on the portable DVD and he fell asleep. I had a harder time sleeping, because we had the window open (again, no air conditioning) and there was a bar across the street from our hotel with loud music. Later that night (I think it was that night, and not the next) we woke up to the sound of a drunk who was obviously locked out of his room, and a few minutes later by the sound of a porter coming by to tell the drunk he was disturbing the rooms around him. Ironically, it was the porter who woke me up the second time, not the drunk.

just for fun

I had to show off my adorable fat cat. She's very vocal, as you will see--but her constant chatter keeps me company!

my dream day

My dream day today would be a drive and hike through the woods somewhere where the air is crisp but not cold (good sweater weather) and where fall leaves are at their peak. With my husband, of course. I'd just let the tension drain out of my body and do my best to relax. But since my dream day isn't going to happen, let me revise it.

My dream day today would be to spend a few good, solid hours working on my website, which I'm relearning to do for a class and have spent very little time on. I'd get a lot done and love what I did. I'd go to class, come home, and perhaps take a little nap or relax before doing my homework for my other class. I'd accomplish that work by 6:00 pm and still have plenty of time to wind down for the day. I'd empty my dishwasher and get the dirty dishes out of my sink (and into the dishwasher), and I'd have time to work on a personal project my sister and I have been working on since this summer. I'd go to bed at a decent hour (between 10:00 and 11:00), get eight blissful hours of sleep in which I neither woke up or slept in awkward positions that resulted in aching, painful muscles in the morning. I'd wake up refreshed and ready to tackle another day.

Not very ambitious, but I'm hoping. I've been fairly busy if you haven't guessed, barely taking a minute for myself in between studying and doing homework. The stress level is amping up a bit and I'm doing my best to control it. Mostly I'm glad to be this busy, because it makes it easier without Al, Dana, or Stephanie here (I've mostly been a social hermit, only going out twice with Stephanie, once with a lecturer friend of mine, Jim, and once with my office mate, Masha. My Netflix tend to sit around for weeks and my library books are overdue. My apartment goes through stages of cleanliness (three hours) and mess (gradually worsening over three weeks) and I need to do laundry, but haven't made it down to the clubhouse to put money on my money card. I'm not complaining, though; just...tired. I'm hoping this trip to DC next week (I've got a conference to go to) will provide some rest, although the prep before-hand and the catching up afterward may not make that goal very easy.

I hope your lives are full of love, laughter, and relaxation. Here's to having a good day.