my last week (+ 1/2)

The past week and a half has been wonderful and I'm dreading going back to school tomorrow. I spent my days lazily, making it through two full seasons of Buffy (or was it three)? and, when Al was here, several movies--Wild Hogs (now at the theater), Scoop, Little Miss Sunshine, Rabbit-Proof Fence, and Idiocracy. Oh, and we watched a few season two Alias episodes as well. Yes, we are an exciting couple. We actually did make it out of the apartment to eat out a few times--Mexican on Tuesday, Perkin's breakfast on Thursday, and Old Chicago (they do pizza and pasta, and we had neither--Al had a calzone and I had a sandwich) on Friday. We also ordered pizza in one night. And went out for $1 pints at a bar downtown on Wednesday (after which we stopped by the gyro and hot dog stands to say hi to--and buy a late dinner from--one of my students) and green beer at an Irish pub on Saturday. Needless to say, I didn't count calories when Al was here. He left at 7:11 yesterday morning and I can't shake this sadness that's come over me. I really, really hate living so far away from him, my family, and most of my friends. And for what? So I can eventually qualify for a job that I don't even know if I want anymore.

Oh, we did my taxes too. I'm getting over $1,000 back (since I'm so poor, even the government feels like it's robbing me to take my money), which is a good thing since after five sales and $87.40 profit the sales seem to have stopped on Amazon. That'll help with the wedding stuff and with rent that we have to pay while I'm not even here during the summer. Oh, yeah--my apartments agreed to give me until April 1 to tell them if I'm going to renew my lease or not. Should be just in time for me to find out if I failed that exam or not. Let's hope they don't keep me waiting long after they meet (on March 28).

Part of my sadness, I think, is coming from nostalgia as well as from Al leaving town. I decided last week when I couldn't sleep (at 5:30 am, go figure) that I would like to start archiving all of my pictures that I've ever taken--scanning them in and putting them on cd (eventually). So I started scanning, and I decided that--at the moment--I'm going to categorize them by people. I decided to start with myself, naturally, and I am naming them by year if I know it, by number if I don't. I've gotten so much fatter and uglier over the years that it's amazing. I'm a little sad that, even though (with the exception of last week) I've been working hard at getting into shape and losing weight, I will still be fairly overweight at my own wedding. I just want to look good. I want to look good in the pictures and look good for Al. And I'm a bit discouraged that it's not going to happen--I'm not going to look as good as I used to, even when he met me. Because I'm about 50 pounds heavier than when he met me, and now there are only two and a half months til my wedding. Not losing that much weight in that little of time, I know that. But the pics are also making me miss my friends and family, and making me feel a bit hurt and upset again about some friends that aren't really around anymore. But enough of that.

I'm hoping--since it's Monday, and we usually get together--that I can get together and finalize my wedding invite design with Dana and Steph tonight. Dana's been nice enough to make it for me, and if we can finish it up, the same place that printed our save-the-dates is having a sale on printing invites. However, this morning I didn't work out (had a really bad migraine all night, that was bothering me even when I was lying still and made it hard to sleep--very unusual for me) and I think I'm cancelling my observation session today (I'm following a guy around while he works, taking it notes, and calling it research--the stuff I have to do for school is crazy sometimes), all because of my headache and my sadness. I am keeping my hair appointment, though. She's going to do a sample make-up session on me, and I may buy the make-up if it seems to work well (wedding stuff again). So that was my week and is my day. No great stories, no exciting drama, but a little bit of sadness. Until next time.